Day 882 in the Nanny June Care Home

The One With The Guilt Trip

This has been one of the longest gaps in seeing Nanny June since she went into the care home. Apart from the guilt that brings in itself, there is also the weight of awareness that the more I visit, the better the standards of care kept to. Things slide if I’m not on it.

But the window of visiting gets trickier the deeper into dementia we go. Mornings are tricky as Nanny June is dependant on carers to get her up and ready for the day. We maintain an illusion of normality and dignity if she is up and dressed when I get there. And I still want to buy into that for my sake. (There were lots of days prior to the care home that were not pretty. Or clean. Or odourless.)

The evenings are tricky because I find Nanny June struggles with company towards the end of the day. Conversation is more challenging and being present more stressful.

Even when not seeing her my time is still spent supporting her, including doing financial errands in a banking system that doesn’t understand its own processes for financial powers of attorney. I have (solicitor and court approved) financial responsibility over Nanny June’s bank account(s) but I suspect a solicitor would get challenged far less frequently than I do. The Never Ending Saga Of Renewing A Cheque Book continues...