Day 3,381 in the Nanny June Care Home

The One With The Surprise Birthday Plans

Plans are afoot.

Nanny June turns NINETY in a couple of weeks.

Being ninety is well worth celebrating!

But there's no restaurant booked or afternoon tea. No family gathering or party of any size. Definitely no sky diving for charity. Nanny June would have told you where to go with that idea. And it wouldn't be out of a plane.

I remember her 80th. I had just had my first baby who was still just weeks old. Nanny June and our new little family met my brother and his wife for lunch. I think even then that the dementia was showing and we just weren't aware. It was a nice meal though and we all enjoyed. Nanny June hated fuss and had refused a big celebration. So maybe in a parallel non dementia universe we would all be going out for lunch this year too.

But while we do seem to be living in a parallel universe, our lives revolving by the restrictions still in place from Covid - dementia is still firmly altering our perspective on all we do. In pre-Covid times Nanny June and I were still good in a 'hanging by a thread' way. I was a forgotten memory when I wasn't in her eye line.. only flickering back into recognition as my voice, body language and conversation ignited her synapses until I fired back into being. Covid has created a irrecoverable distance between us. I knew she would go from me one day. Or me from her. Like a boat drifting from the shore. If I kept shouting loud enough she would keep waving. Going in and out with the tide. But Covid regulations took the boat. I didn’t get to drift slowly out of view. I just disappeared from sight. But I was still there. Waving. Shouting. Trying to say goodbye.

Thanks to over a year of intermittent lockdowns and infrequent, prohibitive visits, when I get to visit again now there will be no waving, no recognition. I am just a polite, kind (overbearing) stranger who randomly wishes her happy birthday.

And Covid continues to be omnipresent. I rang the Nanny June Care Home to make the arrangements and organise a birthday visit. All was good and we can meet outside and not wear PPE. Presents, card and cake of course need to be quarantined so they require dropping off two days before (note to self: must check the sell by date on the cake). Although this means that we cannot even share a coffee and a slice of birthday cake together. Even if she has hers and I have mine. We cannot eat or drink in the visiting area. Because of Covid. I don't even want to know the logic, just took the restrictions in my stride like we have to.

However, I drew the line at not being allowed to bring balloons.

The Nanny June Care Home erred over me bringing the balloons and asked that they also be dropped off beforehand - but it randomly and without reason, suddenly really mattered to me that I can take balloons with me on the day. Big shiny balloons in a 9 and a 0. It was essential that I get to bring them and I refused to drop them off before. So irrational. But it really mattered and still does. I cannot tell you why. I just really want to be able to take Nanny June balloons on her birthday. No cake, no fizz, no cards, no present, no hugs, no kisses, no touching. On her NINETIETH birthday. The lovely lady on the phone relented and said "Yes you can bring balloons, I am sure we can wipe them down after the visit, it will be fine". It really mattered.

Otherwise how else is she going to know it is her birthday...